How To NOT Design Your Kid’s Room – A Cautionary Tale

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I emotion a bully cautionary tale, wherever you get to perceive however idiosyncratic other messed up their beingness successful the sanction of you avoiding repeating their mistake. I hesitate to constitute this similar I bash each things wherever I person to spell backmost connected a plan decision, but it has travel up a batch with my friends recently, and a informing to you each felt necessary. So present is your dose of “blogger Schadenfreude” for the period – If my failures marque you blessed past contiguous is your day. I consciousness beauteous dumb, but each plan failures are large lessons to learn, risks are taken, and truthful pitfalls are constant. You spot my fantastic girl who I honestly can’t accidental capable bully things astir present “strongly dislikes” her wallpaper (she knows not to accidental hate, but that’s the sentiment). Her country is truthful freaking cute and she volition perfectly admit it, but to her, it feels similar a small girl’s room. And she is 9 1/2 – NOT a small miss anymore. So let’s backmost up and spell measurement by measurement connected however we got here:

2020 – We yet got into escrow connected our location and we were truthful excited. We lived successful lockdown astatine the upland house which is famously neutral. “why doesn’t our location person immoderate color” was the consistently taunting question.

2021 – We moved up to Portland and portion renting a location adjacent I started designing their rooms – hopeless to commencement doing the amusive worldly (and to debar reasoning astir the daunting renovation that felt neverending astatine the time). Elliot LOVES design, color, and signifier – she wanted to beryllium precise progressive and lad was it amusive to bash it with her. I cognize we shouldn’t statement our children but this miss is highly enthusiastic and easy excited astir each the things (likely a 7 enneagram similar her mother, though she has STRONG 3 tendencies – besides similar her mother). She wanted to beryllium a immense portion of the process and honestly, it was conscionable truthful amusive for maine – zero regrets connected however I went astir it, by the way. She is truthful hard to accidental nary to. We went connected Pinterest unneurotic and astir of what she loved was a hard nary for maine (unicorns, fairies, etc – some of which I similar but I knew she would regret those arsenic wallpaper) but what I gleaned from her is that she wanted colour and signifier – AND SO DID I!!! But arsenic she aptly puts it now, “I was six, Mom. Who lets a 6-year-old marque a semipermanent decision?”. LOL (She’s 9 1/2 now).

We decided connected this awesome butterfly wallpaper by Schumacher which I honestly thought had much antagonistic space, but careless it is so amusive arsenic heck. While it was busier than I could grip successful my ain chamber she loved it and we designed the country astir it. We didn’t usage impermanent wallpaper oregon pre-pasted and I’m not adjacent definite if the wallpaper installer primed it beforehand (which would marque it easier to remove). That’s each to accidental this insubstantial isn’t permanent, but it’s not casual to instrumentality down either.

2022-2024 – She loved her country – I mean, it’s incredibly cute. I won’t assertion that she knew however fortunate she was to person her ma beryllium a decorator who creates this arsenic her occupation (she’s a kid, it’s not her occupation to instinctively cognize however the satellite is tally and however privileged she is). But I bash cognize that she loved it… for a portion and felt truly thankful. She showed it disconnected to her friends proudly and we gushed unneurotic astir however amusive it was and however it represented truthful perfectly her personality.

2024 – Now. Well, she grew up. Starting astir a twelvemonth agone (so similar a twelvemonth aft it was done) she got it successful her caput that the wallpaper is for small girls and nary 1 wants to beryllium older, bigger, oregon much teenager-y than an 8-year-old girl. It started tiny and not bratty at all, conscionable comments similar “When volition I beryllium capable to redo my room?” and I didn’t shame her for those comments, I privation her to explicit what she wants, but I besides didn’t comply. While I was of people annoyed with an interior “WTF??”, I realized rapidly that the annoyance was with my past naive self, not her.

It’s My Fault…I Know!!

So fto maine beryllium precise clear, the culprit present is ME, not her. She is simply a saccharine pre-tween who wants her country to person the flexibility to turn with her changing styles. I was the ma that wanted to enactment blistery pinkish butterflies connected my 6-year-old’s walls without playing retired the agelong game. It’s wholly mean to cull the “little girl” benignant arsenic you are trying to find your ain dependable and independency into the tween years. DOH.

What Does She Want To Change It To?

Purple. Chartreuse. Lavender. It changes regular and with passion. She presently HATES blistery pink, but I deliberation that’s due to the fact that her relative presently hates it. She besides is “over” Taylor Swift successful favour of Olivia Rodrigo, which she volition apt beryllium implicit soon. Now you mightiness person a kid that doesn’t attraction astir design/style successful which lawsuit you mightiness beryllium capable to instrumentality a large plan plaything and they won’t privation to alteration it ever. But I deliberation due to the fact that of my job, my kids really privation their rooms to look similar them, they attraction astir style. Their brains are rapidly growing, truthful their personalities are processing daily, which means their idiosyncratic benignant is shifting astatine warp speed. These tween years are chaotic (I emotion them truthful much) due to the fact that they inactive slumber with stuffies and yet combat maine astir not letting them beryllium YouTube Stars (nope). She’s begging for harvest tops and to deterioration heels and makeup, claiming she’s “almost a grownup” and I person to actively unopen my rima to not blurt retired “Girl, you don’t similar vegetables yet”. She’s conscionable being precisely the property that she should be, stretching and pushing and doing it wholly respectfully by the way. I LOVE watching them close present go their full ain person. (If you don’t travel Lisa Damour you HAVE TO – she is the champion teen scientist connected the net and loves celebrating each things teen and is FULL of unthinkable mantras and advice).

Kids are meant to grow, change, propulsion back, question their ain individuality distant from their parents…Which is wherefore I consciousness severely astir my mistake – I should person ne'er made a large semi-permanent benignant determination successful her country erstwhile she was 7, adjacent if she did privation it. I locked her successful to blistery pinkish butterflies and cute oregon not, they don’t consciousness similar her anymore.

What Should I Have Done Instead?

Just painted it a comparatively neutral colour oregon achromatic and fto her decorate it nevertheless she wanted it. It’s what I did for her cousins’ chamber (seen here) which I deliberation is the close move. furnishings that tin turn with them, but capable antagonistic abstraction for them to amusement disconnected their property – thing stylistically permanent. The rooms that they emotion connected TV are afloat of posters, polaroids, and SO MUCH CLUTTER – these small relics they cod that provoke emotion and commencement to physique their identity. So by putting a engaged signifier connected her wall, with butterflies, and successful agleam colors she feels locked successful and she’s not wrong. She inactive puts posters each implicit it and rearranges everything each the clip to look a spot “cooler”. I emotion that she cares and that she feels empowered to person a idiosyncratic benignant and to dependable it. I conscionable privation I hadn’t locked her successful truthful much.

So What Are We Going To Do? Change it?

Nothing for now. I mostly deflect (it comes up a lot) but erstwhile pushed I accidental that erstwhile she is 13 we tin revisit the speech (which volition beryllium 6 years from instal – she does NOT similar this reply arsenic it feels similar 50 years away). When REALLY pushed I’ve told her she tin prevention her wealth to instrumentality it down and paint, but we some cognize that’s dumb and unfair. This was my fault, not hers and I americium the 1 that needed to beryllium taught a acquisition that she gets to witness. Now don’t clasp maine to the 13-year-old thing, who knows, but arsenic of now, it’s not changing anytime soon. She besides precocious mentioned wanting to determination into the impermanent country erstwhile she’s a teen truthful she tin person her ain bath due to the fact that “Mama, a lad and a miss teen tin NOT stock a bathroom” which is 100% not existent (but with 2 bathrooms up determination she’s besides not incorrect to reason they mightiness each person their ain abstraction astatine immoderate point). If she moves into the impermanent chamber past we could support this 1 arsenic a truly whimsical impermanent country oregon possibly by past I’ll fto myself disconnected the hook and peel it off. But for now, we aren’t doing thing astir it. It feels acold excessively wasteful to lone person it for soon to beryllium 3 years particularly erstwhile I should beryllium a acold amended illustration connected the internet. I person to unrecorded with my mistake (it’s besides truthful cute inactive truthful it’s not arsenic achy for me:))

Lesson Learned…

But what I won’t bash again and what I impulse you not to bash is fastener your kid into a precise circumstantial benignant particularly erstwhile they are entering their tween years. I really deliberation her first oregon second nursery (both airy histrion murals hilariously) had much longevity than this one, truthful I truly did marque an egregious choice. I emotion the vigor of this wallpaper but it’s a lot, it’s everyplace and it does skew younger (especially if you bash NOT privation to beryllium small anymore). I deliberation immoderate patterns and colors person much age/style flexibility truthful if you are inclined you could astir apt inactive spell for it. And I deliberation changing a country is not abnormal, particularly for those of america who truly bask doing it with our kids. But giving them room, space, and clip to find and alteration their benignant successful their 1 and lone idiosyncratic abstraction is truly important to them and I kinda blew that one.

With Charlie (my 11-year-old boy), helium LOVES his country as-is (neon lights, skateboard lamp, posters, a large circular chair) truthful until helium wants to displacement oregon asks for my assistance I won’t beryllium investing time/energy/money into it (I deliberation he’s acrophobic I’m going to marque it excessively girly which I get, LOL). Every present and again helium says “I privation a hammock successful my room” wherever I accidental “Ooh that would beryllium cool” but I’m making nary specified moves for a while.

Had I not wallpapered her room, Elliot, my bright, happy, highly amusive to beryllium astir 9-year-old would person decorated the hellhole retired of those walls, peppering joyousness everyplace successful determination with oregon without me. It wouldn’t look arsenic good designed, balanced, etc, but it would person allowed her to experimentation and person much amusive successful the lone abstraction she owned. I got caught up successful our corporate enthusiasm for color/pattern which is unsafe erstwhile I’m the 1 that is expected to beryllium the tenable big with a afloat formed brain. So erstwhile she says with a grin “Mama, did you truly fto a 6-year-old marque specified a large decision…aren’t you the grownup?” I can’t assistance but laugh. She’s wholly right.

The Moral Of The Story

While astir of you astir apt wouldn’t bash this successful the archetypal place, but conscionable overgarment the country a elemental color. Make immoderate benignant choices with lighting, rugs, curtains and bedding – each things that are easier to determination to different country oregon store should they tyre of it. But don’t fastener them successful portion their personalities are changing truthful rapidly.

Also…stencils and partition stickers FTW. Paint a stripe oregon a scallop – determination are truthful galore either truly impermanent oregon much timeless choices retired there:)

Opening Image Credits: Design by Emily and Elliot Henderson (and ARCIFORM) | Photo by Kaitlin Green | From: Birdie’s Bedroom Reveal!! Designing WITH (Not For) Your Kids, And How We Exploded This Room With Color

The station How To NOT Design Your Kid’s Room – A Cautionary Tale appeared archetypal connected Emily Henderson.

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